i'm back again, doing this thing.
i don't have much to say. i found a new podcast that i like. i'm getting a new phone soon. i went back to look at all my old posts and it's a bit embarrassing but occasionally compelling, so i suppose i won't go back and delete everything. i'm glad i'm a better writer now. i don't use as many qualifiers these days.
i'm anxiety personified right now, and i don't think i'll actually relax until december 15 rolls around, and i find out about the thing that will change the rest of my life. i'm crossing my fingers again and again, in case that might help. and praying to god, and jesus, and the holy spirit. please, this one. i know i desperation-pray a lot and that's kind of messed up, but here i am again. sorry, god. i've wanted this one since i was nine, please, please, please.
something is the matter with me, i think, physically. i'm tired all the time, my head hurts more often than it doesn't, my limbs feel thick with lethargy. i might be addicted to caffeine.
my hand is bruised for the second time in two weeks, and it is horrifically uncomfortable. how does one even go about bruising one's hand? every time i move mine, i feel like it's filling up with something, i don't know. sometimes it hurts. i don't like writing with that hand anymore, the bone keeps fucking with the bruise.
even typing this is uncomfortable. i want to stop. i never used to bruise this easily.
i'm going to texas next week. i have a physics test on friday. i have an interview on sunday. i have english homework tonight. my hand is pinging at me to stop moving it. my life is a mess. but that's no news.
see you next time. tomorrow, the day after, next week, whenever.